Did You Hear The One About...

I appreciate a good joke. I even like to try out my own comedic skills once in awhile. But no hunting joke collection would be complete without the really cheesy ones. Here are some of the cheesiest hunting jokes that are sure to make you cringe yet still laugh a little...

    Which side of a deer has the most meat?   


                                     The inside!

When Two Guys Go Hunting...
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh." A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

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Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet anymore!"

         What is the best way to hunt bear?

                         
                                                   With your clothes off!

Marriage and Hunting
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy:
’You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.’
Second guy:
’That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.’
Third guy:
’Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.’
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him.
’You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What’s the deal?’
Fourth guy:
’I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, ’Fishing or Sex’ and she said, ’Wear a sweater.’

What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?


                               Mickey Moose! 

Beware Of Bears
The Colorado Game Authority officials are warning hunters to be especially on the alert for grizzly bears this year.
They suggest wearing little bells to warn bears of their presence so as not to take them by surprise. They also suggest carrying pepper spray to ward off a possible attack.
Hunters should also learn to recognize grizzly bear droppings.
They contain little bells and smell of pepper spray.

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Always Say Grace 
A hunter was in the Arctic came face to face with a polar bear. Being so frozen cold his gun wouldn’t fire. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying.
When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!"
The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."


Do you have a favorite hunting joke? Share them in the comments below!